Not-So-Subliminal Advertising

I’m not much of a football guy and could care less about the Big Game. The highlights are all that really matter to me: Christina disparaging our nation’s hymn of unity, Fergie screaming at halftime, and of course, those commercials.

Thankfully for such party poopers as myself, there’s no shortage of websites where we can subject ourselves willingly to product pitches and hard-sells.

For as many commercials aired, there are countless critiques, analyses, and tweets flooding cyberspace and social media with just as many opinions. It doesn’t help that I’m two days late to this game, either. But after reviewing all the Super Bowl 2011 commercials, I’m going to share a few things that stuck out to me:

Skechers “Break Up 2 Shape Up”—This steamy ad was for chunky, rocker-soled shoes that promise you a miracle body. Skechers is ratcheting up the sex appeal in a play stolen from rival Reebok’s book. I sell these things at Kohl’s and think they look like ugly, bright-colored orthotics. Perfect for a clown that’s looking to tone her ass muscles.

Hyundai Sonata “Anachronistic City”—There was a TV spot similar to this a few years ago, with the retro cell phones and all. I guess it failed though; I have no idea what the former commercial was hawking. Hyundai took the retro humor a step further though by including a Victorian bicycle, typewriters, an Atari-esque video game…It was laugh-out-loud funny.

Chrysler “Imported from Detroit”—Stealing a play from GM with the gritty slice of working-class Americana? We’ve all fallen on hard times? The Chrysler 200 may be miles ahead of its predecessor in interior quality and power train, but the skin is still so Sebring. Eminem, a native son of Detroit, looks like an impoverished druggie.

Mini USA—Cram it in the boot!?!? “Josh, have you ever crammed it in the boot before?” A sick innuendo and play on Brit vs. American English.

CareerBuilder.com “Parking Lot”—I feel like the guy in the VW. Too bad submitting your résumé to careerbuilder.com only gets you enough spam/fraudulent email to fill a Golf hatchback.

BMW “Advanced Diesel”—I’m a car guy, and I appreciated this one. The black, smoking heavy-duty rigs, the old Euro-spec Volvo box wagon…clever.

Motorola “Empower the People”—A definite shot at Apple and its all-things “i” empire. I can relate—iPhone, iPod, these have never been my choice gadgets.

Teleflora “Help Me Faith”—Just a low, awful use of sex-sells advertising.

GoDaddy “New GoDaddy.co Girl”—Another cheap sex-sells spot. GoDaddy has been buying space on attractive model’s bust lines for years. I still use their domain registrar service. Hope my site doesn’t go dark now…

Hyundai Elantra “Deprogramming”—Awesome graphics. Just read Motor Trend’s first [positive] drive of this new compact sedan.

So there are a few of my opinions. Did any of these commercials actually move me to action? Well Sony’s gritty “Android Ready to Play” and BMW’s “X3 Defying Logic” spots have inspired me to look at their websites and check out the products they were hawking. Plenty of other spots made me laugh, and a few made me cringe. One spot that definitely was an epicfail was GoDaddy’s. I won’t be going to their website to see “unrated” GoDaddy girl content.

Need a refresher on 2011’s Super Bowl sells? I liked http://www.superbowl-commercials.org/ for chronological links to each of this year’s ads.