I tried a Melaleuca product that was supposed to treat a minor ailment I suffer from. After jumping through hoops, sleeping through sales presentations, and being put through hard-sell tactics, I finally was able to shell out over $20 for my first bottle of Melaleuca product.
I had less than satisfying results, and now I’m going to invoke Melaleuca’s money back guarantee. Want to know the gritty details? Read on. Photos accompany the end of the post.
BUILDING SOME BUZZ
Going back several months ago, I wrote a “My View” editorial for the Buffalo News on the subject of eye floaters. To give a brief synopsis, floaters are harmless—but incredibly annoying—little strands of collagen that float around inside the eye and become visible to the sufferer. My eye doctor has inspected my case thoroughly and assured me it’s a normal entoptic phenomena that just so happens to affect my type-A personality in such a way as to drive me nuts at times.
I wrote my editorial to accomplish three things: raise awareness about floaters, share my sufferings, and opine how grateful I am for the gift of eyesight. The article was published on December 15, 2009, and yes, I became a local celebrity for a few days after it ran.
Shortly after the article was published, a News editor contacted me with the phone number of a gentleman who claimed he had found a successful treatment to floaters. Excited, I gave him a call. It looked as if my little article could have found a promising treatment. Naturally, I was hopeful.
This man (we’ll call him Ron) told me about a company called Melaleuca, and in particular, a vitamin called Nutra View sold by the company. Ron talked about how years of smoking had all but destroyed his eyes, and how his optometrist considered it a miracle that he could even see considering the poor condition of his eyes. Ron called me back a day later conveniently telling me that his sister is a Melaleuca distributor, a previously overlooked detail.
It is now I should mention that right after our initial phone conversation, I visited the Melaleuca website, did some research, and decided I wanted to order. But you can’t just throw some Nutra View in your e-shopping cart, type in the MasterCard numbers, and await it to arrive at your door. You have to join a club and jump through a few more hoops. So that evening I called the 1-800 number and told Melaleuca to sign me up. The lady at the other end said a New York-area distributor would be in touch.
The next morning, Ron called back with his sister standing by (we’ll call her Marilyn). And then a New York Melaleuca distributor began buzzing my cell phone all day while I was at work. Since I spoke to Marilyn first, I’d already agreed she’d be my distributor. The other guy was none too pleased with me.
THE FIRST ORDER
Marilyn turned out to be a kind older lady who loves to talk. Unfortunately, she’s lacking proficiency with the Internet. I spent over an hour on the phone with her while she droned on about Melaleuca’s skincare, homecare, toiletries, vitamins, and other products. I had to follow along with a Web-based slideshow. The reason I mention all this is because she had a horrific time directing me to the slideshow. Once I awakened from Marilyn’s sales pitch, I told her I desired to sign up. She said I could do so online, but she wasn’t sure how to do it. I coached her through setting up my account (it’s pretty much like setting up any other e-commerce account). I deserved free product just for the technical consultation!
She still didn’t get it. That’s when a three-way call got Gail involved. Gail’s another Melaleuca distributor and obviously, more capable with the computer. Gail spoke to me using what I perceived as fear tactics in order to get me to purchase more vitamins, talk to specialists about my eye condition, and even took a slight shot at my optometrist’s qualifications. This after one phone conversation. Perhaps I misread Gail’s intentions though, after all, it’s not like we talked face to face.
Melaleuca allows you to be either a direct customer or a preferred customer. Choosing preferred status means you sign an agreement to order X-number of products each month. They also include free samples with your order. Preferred customers are conveniently billed and shipped a “profile” order, should they forget to place the monthly order they agreed to. Direct customers pay a little more up front, but are free from obligations and can buy as little or as much Melaleuca as they want. Gail had never heard of anything as odd as someone wishing to be a direct buyer, and tried all the hard-sell tactics she could muster to get me to start off at preferred status. Guess what type of customer I chose to be?
SELLING IT
Melaleuca also requires a $29 seller’s kit be purchased by all new customers. They just don’t specify when it has to be purchased. I’ve yet to buy mine, although I’m reminded to every so often.
And that’s where Melaleuca becomes like every other pyramid-scheme vitamin company. While the pyramid is structured differently, (the wiki explains this in more detail) Melaleuca is just like every other Shaklee, Reliv, Quixtar, and other multi-level marketer out there. They pressure users to become distributors. Housewives, college students, and retired widows can get rich by just investing 10 hours per week.
GOING GREEN
Melaleuca claims it was green before green was in. Products like detergent are ultra concentrated; Melaleuca doesn’t ship water. They use recyclable packing materials. Everything is made from natural, sustainable ingredients.
My one tiny bottle of vitamins shipped in a box large enough to accommodate numerous high-gloss Melaleuca catalogs, selling guides, and bogus newsletters each month. Inflated plastic cushioning (the kind that’s all too fun to pop) was used as packaging. Magazines claim they are printed on recycled paper, but plastic packaging? Why not biodegradable packing “peanuts?”
Melaleuca also offers cell phone plans serviced by major wireless carriers. All those “natural” radio waves that supposedly microwave our brains? Guess that’s a good reason to purchase more Melaleuca antioxidants; zap those free radicals!
RESULTS (or lack thereof)
Beyond Nutra View, I never tried any other Melaleuca products, so I’ll admit this review isn’t too comprehensive. But Nutra View didn’t achieve what I had hoped for: resolution of my eye floaters. I was encouraged by my sales reps to take as many as three capsules a day. That would make one bottle of 30 last me 10 days. Each bottle costs juts over $20, and the directions say to only take one capsule daily. Were they trying to get me to consume more product? I don’t know. I followed the on-package directions.
Now I’ll begin the process of seeking my money back from Melaleuca, since I am not a satisfied customer. We’ll see how they honor their satisfaction guarantee. Stay tuned for future updates.
WRAPPING UP
I’m sorry if this comes across as jaded and cynical. I give most people the benefit of the doubt, and I believe Marilyn, Ron and Gail were only trying to help me. But their sales tactics were subpar, the Melaleuca ordering process tedious, and the product didn’t work. I can’t speak for Melaleuca’s other products; most were so prohibitively expensive that I wouldn’t even dream of trying them. I can’t help but sum up my experience with the Melaleuca Company as a disappointment.
Glossy magazines, magnets—nicely designed marketing materials accompanying every "green" Melaleuca order...
